Defining relationships
Saturday 6 December 2014
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In a nation where the act of
consummating the institution of marriage is considered sacrosanct, the very
mention of pre-marital sex while being in a live-in relationship as an
alternative to marriage results in serious debates and even lead to agitations.
Even though the Supreme Court has ruled that live-in relationships are a
fundamental right of Indian citizens and are not per se illegal, any tinkering
with the patriarchal family set-up is regarded as anti-family. Not only are
such relationships seen as illegitimate and immoral but also an infamous
product of western culture. It is a common perception among some orthodox
Indian families that any form of relationship that involves any pre-marital sexual
activity weakens the strong familial ties and encourage promiscuity.
What is conveniently ignored is
the fact that there are different forms of co-habitation that provide an
opportunity to both the partners to redefine their relationship and share
powers and responsibilities equally. Such forms of relationships have the
potential to check the climbing divorce rates. Often, relationships in which
men tend to enslave women and condemn them to certain subordinate roles gives
rise to mutual dissatisfaction and malevolence which ultimately culminates in
either divorce or physical or psychological assault of one partner by the
other. In other words, marriage becomes an exploitative tool in the institution
of patriarchy with the female partner, in most cases, becoming an object of
lust for her male counterpart.
In this ever evolving world, indulging
in pre-marital sex while being in a live-in relationship is acquiring ever
increasing significance. Individuals are entering into this form of
relationship more out of conviction than for convenience as they feel liberated
and are not bound by the compulsions of predefined marital roles. Many
individuals may be ideologically opposed to the idea of letting the law dictate
their personal lives, while many others may feel mauled by societal pressures
and tribulations. This can, therefore, offer great respite to such individuals
in pursuing a relationship of companionship unencumbered by the intrusion of
property and inheritance wrangles.
Absence of legal sanctity,
however, does not necessarily mean that indulging in pre-marital sex while
being in an unnamed relationship with someone should be adopted as a way of
life. The children born out of such relationships are the worst sufferers as
they tend to have an uncertain future. Mutual conflicts, unwanted pregnancy and
the lack of authority over the ‘virtual family’ often make this relationship a
burden. The exploitation of women by their live-in partners cannot be ignored.
It is then that consensual acts between the partners acquire forms of penal
offences like rape, sexual exploitation et cetera. Moreover, relationships that
do not necessarily encourage an individual to sustain a family may lead to
degradation of moral values and Indian culture.
Choosing a way of life is
certainly an individual’s own decision. But the choice should be made out of
conviction and not merely for convenience. No form of relationship should
become a means of satiating one’s carnal appetite.
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